Friday, May 09, 2008

Dream 76: Double Trouble and A Shelter for Deaf Lesbians
P and I were at a gig. There was no stage but the edge of a dance floor. There was microphone off to the left then a couple of screens promoting the gig then a couple more mics on the right. I was about to go off and get changed when P suddenly went up to the mic on the left and started the gig. He did some of his usual set, leaving out the bits where I come in. He was getting some good laughs but part of the audience weren't going along with it. He then tried to adapt a routine to the venue/place. I could see what he should have done/said, but he got it all wrong and it didn't make any sense. Lots of the audience still laughed and P was pleased with himself, but a section of the audience shouted out, that doesn't make sense and not funny. P finished and went behind the screen. I went to follow him but he went over to the mics on the right and started saying something else to finish off. I turned to go back to my seat as I didn't want to get in the way of 'the show'. Then he finished again so I chased him back behind the screen. I was about to get changed, we're supposed to be a double act, I said, why didn't you wait for me? But he just shrugged. I told him that part of it didn't make sense but P just said he'd enjoyed himself. He was pleased that the reaction had been good (ignoring the dissent from one section of the audience). So I said well fine, you can do it yourself from now on and walked off. As I walked off I was upset, but thought I can do some sketches with other people and do more acting etc now....
(I told P this dream and he said he never do that and that he loved being a double act - just in case anyone was worried!).
I was in a home full of women. I was assigned to a bed. It was a very crowded room, I met one of the woman close by and we got on very well. Many of the women were deaf. Next day I was due to have a kind of marriage ceremony with this woman. She was attractive and fun and we seemed well suited. But something happened right before the ceremony and she was taken away. An older woman stepped forward into the middle of a circle which had formed. I'd seen her before and I liked her but I didn't fancy her. She was offering herself and I didn't want to leave her in the lurch in front of everyone. I think if you didn't have a partner you were ostracised. I sensed she'd been rejected before. I stepped into the circle and gave her a hug. So we would be married at some point. I was disappointed. I went into the bedroom area and saw that amongst what I thought were single beds there were double beds. Now I was to share the older woman's bed. I thought I don't mind sharing the bed, but I don't want anything physical with her. I noticed that she was lying on another bed with a baby in her arms (someone else's baby). She went under the covers and was silently crying. I went under with her and held the woman and baby in my arms, we all fell asleep.
I woke up the next day (in the dream) to find we were in a different shelter. I was officially the older woman's partner and everyone was very deaf. I had to pretend I was deaf as well. I was aware that I mustn't react to sound and only seem to be able to hear when people were in front of me ie lip reading. I kept trying to remember if I had kept up the act earlier or not. It was my partner's birthday and she wanted a certain dish for dinner. There was a computer where you selected what you wanted for each meal from the menu. She wanted porridge oats and jam. I said I think that's a breakfast dish, but then I found it for dinner and changed her order. I scrolled through trying to find something I could eat. I was annoyed because I had food at the other home and I wondered if they'd brought it over. There was very little on the menu for me.
We were due for a music session, it was a special therapy for the deaf to feel the rhythm and learn an instrument by rote/sense. I realised I had left my flute on a sideboard at the other house although someone told me they were bringing it over. Again I had to remember to respond only when I could see someone speaking to me. Then I was taken to get some clothes, mine had gone missing. There were lots of items that were unsuitable or didn't fit me, but then I found some loose, colourful 'hippie' style pants and I started to try them on. I was watching to see if they were trying to catch me out for not being deaf. I wasn't sure if I could keep it up and I wasn't that happy with my partner. She was nice and kind, but we didn't have a connection and I felt doomed to a mediocre existence.

Dream 75: Bloody Thirsty Monsters
I had this dream several days ago, it was extremely graphic, highly detailed and visually explicit. The dream opened with P in a street. He'd been driving but had crashed into several cars and shopfronts and left a trail of carnage down the road. Car doors hanging off, bikes strewn, debris all around. He had been completely oblivious and was amazed when he turned around and saw the devastation behind. I was on the opposite side of the street trying to catch up with him. I shouted across 'What happened?' but he didn't seem to know. Then I was an alien. We were very blood thirsty and continued down the street hacking into innocent people and killing or maiming them. It was supposed to be to get blood and/or flesh but I didn't see anyone actually drinking blood or eating flesh! I began to realise that this was wrong. We couldn't go around like this and would have to find an alternative way of getting food. When we attacked someone, we had a choice of whether to convert them into one of us or leave them to die. There were a few people who were on the point of turning into one of us, but I decided it would be kinder and more manageable if they didn't. I set fire to some of the bodies (the standard method apparently). The body elongated, expended all its fluids in a steamy gush and shrivelled into a brown dried up mess. Like a large dead lizard which has dried out in the sun.
Inside I felt I was an amphibian of some sort but also vampire-ish. Every now and then my insides would gurgle and shift as if uncomfortable in a human body and there was a constant threat that I would go back to my normal form. I was trying to stop the others from indiscriminate killing and to find a way to work with the people on earth. I had just stopped a particularly blood thirsty attempt and was holding a young girl on the floor. The Father came and stood over me with a huge kitchen knife. He brought it down towards my throat and held it just to my right. I thought, this is a dream he won't cut me, or I'll wake up. But he very slowly brought the knife against the side of my throat. I could feel it very intensely. Then he proceeded to cut through my neck. It went quite slowly, but the knife was sharp. I could feel it going through the flesh, it was deep into my neck. It was quite odd, I felt a momentary sensation of shock and panic and then as it was cutting through I wondered how it looked and whether any blood was showing yet, there was no artery burst. Then I realised that he couldn't kill me this way, we were very hard to kill, but at least it would make him feel better that he was defending his daughter, so I let him go right across my throat.
Sometime later I was posing as a young man in rooms at Cambridge University. Many of us had almost assimulated into human life. We were having sessions with a Don who was trying to educate us in literature. There were three of us who had just handed in an essay each. The Don commented that although technically correct, we had not put any soul, emotion or opinion into the essay. He was trying to get us to be passionate about our subject, but not being human we would not be capable of such emotions. I had tried to leave clues that we were in fact aliens. I hoped the Don would be intelligent enough to find us out. I wanted to let him know that the only way to kill us was with a special silver sword which I was going to leave somewhere strategic. I realised that although some of us were civilised there were still too many killing and terrorising people and I wanted to help them to get rid of us.