Dream 46: Bits and Pieces
Several seemingly unrelated sections of which I can only recall snippets.... I was in an era which was a mixture of Dickensian, Wild West, Modern Times with a bit of Mafia style 1940's thrown in. In the dream it was a recognised time/era and I realised what it was straight away. There were loads of people milling about generally and later it became a party in a large rambling house. PMG was there and I was hanging around him. He was wearing a hat (cross between a trilby and a pork pie) and looked gorgeous. Eventually I signalled with a raise of my eyes and a nod of the head that we could go to my room. He nodded his assent much to my surprise, I never thought it would be so easy. We got to the bedroom and were in bed, then it was like a film, we just cut straight to us waking up in the morning! We were talking about his brother. I asked him what his name was and he said Carlos. There was a flashback to me chasing Carlos. I was either a gangster or a cop and he was running. He wore a similar hat to PMG and at times looked very like him and then other times not at all. In the flashback I was threatening him. I bailed him up in the corner of a room and stuck a gun under his nose. I was very close to killing him but something made me stop. Perhaps I realised he must be related to PMG. People kept changing their appearance in this era. I was walking behind PMG down some stairs and his hair was yellow blond and all stiff and sticky from being loaded with gel. Next thing he was back to his black curls.
In another section I was on a train, it was made from old grey wood and was very rickety. I had to go through several carriages to find the loos. I did find them and had an enormously long pee, trying to hang on and point it in the right direction. But I still needed to go (because I did in real life I suppose - normally I don't get to actually pee in a dream, I just keep trying to find a loo, so this was unusual).
Then I was on a veranda with P (not PMG). The buildings were wild western town style and there was a big dusty road in front of us. A group of circus performers turned up and were playing around with various bits and pieces, a ball and some soft toys they used for juggling. The ball came over towards us. P missed it, but I hit it back. Then a toy rabbit shot over. P stood on it. And I told him to flick it up, he tried but couldn't. I had a go, stood on it, flicked it up with my feet then kicked it back to the group in the dusty road. P said where did I learn to do that. I said I didn't know I could, I'd just watched the others and had a go.
Then I went for a pee in real life. When I came back I was running late for a yoga group. I went in and joined in part way through. We seemed a close-knit group and had been going to the sessions for a while. But the next time we went there had been an incident. The yoga teacher said we had to complete a survey before we could carry on. I was late again and several people had finished. There was a package for everyone which included food, a menu, the questionnaire and some pants made from special material. They were for warming up or after the sessions. They were blue and had a logo and were sort of rubbery, plasticky and fleecy at the same time. I decided I'd put mine on later because I was already warm and in my yoga gear. However this seemed to indicate a non-conformist attitude. I gathered they were trying to establish whether we believed in the yoga philosophy and way of life or whether we just did it for the exercise. Apparently they were cracking down on who was allowed to participate. I would have liked the food but as I was running late I thought it would interfere with my yoga if I ate it so close to doing it. The food was all vegan, so instead of sampling it and answering the questions I just wrote 'I follow a vegan diet'. Then I tried to answer the rest of the questions. There was some commotion as everyone wanted the teacher to start the group. She was hesitant because she wasn't sure of the results and whether she was allowed. In the end we didn't do any yoga. I was annoyed because I could have eaten the food after all and now it had gone cold and a bit rubbery, plus I was hungry.

Dream 45: Losing My Head?
Earlier on in the dream I was travelling through a city on some sort of transport which was also like a fair ground ride, so there was a lot of ups, downs and twisting around with glimpses of the city above, below and around. Not a bad idea really, make commuting a bit more exciting!
Later on I was in a large house with some family and friends. It was all a bit chaotic. I was in a room watching something. Could have been a large TV or maybe a live performance, not sure. I was standing near the back of the room watching, but I was also standing behind myself. I was a bit taller than me and I noticed a small balding patch at the back of my head - like some men start to get. My hair was covering it but it was definitely thinning. I went to a room with a mirror. I was back inside myself now. I moved my hair aside and found a large bald area which was white and rough. When I touched it , it was dusty. I put my hand on the patch and all this dust came away, like fine plaster dust. I was horrified and scared. I went to find P. I grabbed him and said I need to show you something. He could see I was upset. We went into one room but there were people there. We kept trying to find a room where we could be alone. Eventually we ended up in the corner of a hallway. I was just about to show him my head when my brother came up, all smiles and asked what we were up to. I said I needed to talk to my spouse privately! I was very short with him and he left rather offended.
Then I showed P my head, loads of dust came away and there was a sharp edge on the side of my head which you could feel now some of the dust had fallen off. I made P feel it. He felt around the dusty/powder stuff and the ridge. I asked him if he could feel it and he said yes it was keratonin, but very thin. I was worried because I didn't have a doctor I could go and see. P tried to comfort me and say it was going to be all right, but I could see he was as worried as I was and whatever had happened to my head was serious.

Dream 44: Einstein and I
Thoroughly enjoyable night of dreaming. Started off in a hotel, a regular theme for me, most of it is lost now, but usual things of rooms being changed, sharing rooms, finding towels and so forth. Then I took part in one of the activities, we were walking on this giant rocky outcrop or tor. It didn't involve climbing as in ropes, harnesses etc, but it was extremely tricky and potentially very dangerous. We were very high up and the views were spectacular, there was a crisp breeze but the sun was shining in a brilliant blue sky and only the odd cloud. I was in my element. Our tour leader was Einstein. He was pretty much as you'd expect from the photos, although his hair wasn't quite as mad or as thick on this occasion and he was a short, slender, agile, wise, oldish man. He was telling us all sorts of things about the rock and the route, and was extremely patient and kind. He gave off the feeling that he found everyone to be intelligent given half the chance and that he wasn't especially more intelligent than anyone else. Yet his aura was immense. You knew you were in the presence of someone great but you also felt like you were his special friend and at peace.
We were going along a particularly tricky section with these built in staircases and steps as well as the natural and sometime treacherous rock. There were shear drops of hundreds of feet every now and then. Einstein was there to show us the way, but we also had to figure it out for ourselves like a puzzle. There was a woman in front of me who was trying to get one bit right. Einstein had been chatting to her more intimately and I wanted her to get on with it so it would be my turn. He hopped down some man-made steps on to a ledge, asking the woman if this was the way to go. She hesitated as there was another lot of steps with a rail going another way. She started to follow but he trotted quickly back to her, saying she shouldn't follow him on that bit. He was trained and skilled, but that was actually the wrong way and she would have fallen, he didn't say to her death, but she probably would have.
We continued on. I looked across the valley to another rocky ridge. About halfway down under an overhang was a steep path cut along the scree. I could see figures running up it. Looked like a team of extreme sports people doing some training and they were trying to compete with each other up the slope. I looked around at the rest of the view and drank it all in. We came to a break in the rock and looked out at a different view. The woman was talking about her ancestors and Einstein nodded as he listened. Then she said well of course you know V's family history goes way back to.. she was going to say William the Conqueror, but Einstein cut in with yes the something of Cornwall. Is wasn't Duke or Earl or a title I'd heard of but as soon as he said it I recognised it. I wondered how he knew so precisely our ancestral line, most people just new generalities, but he had pinpointed an obscure predecessor and far removed from the Northern England regions which were more well documented. I was impressed and flattered. He just smiled slightly impishly. We were impatient to move on, but Einstein suddenly trotted off down a grassy slope with some boulders scattered around. It was steep but looked innocuous enough. He grabbed something from the bottom, like a jacket or fleece then trotted back up like a mountain goat. I wondered why we couldn't just go down that way, but there was an unspoken rule that although it seemed an easy route it had taken years of training and skill for him to be able to trot down and back, and really he'd just taken a short cut because he needed his jacket. We still had hours to go before we would reached the bottom.
Then it was my turn to be next to Einstein, he led the way calmly with occasional reference to me to make sure I understood the puzzle and chose the right the pathway. He told me all sorts of things about the surroundings and about life in general. I felt wonderful. I had a glimpse of a future where I could tell people that I actually knew Einstein, and we were friends, because I genuinely felt we were by this time. He talked much more freely to me than to the other woman. We were climbing quite sharply and just as we got to the top of a little plateau I said I just can't believe.... and he jumped in and said you can't believe this isn't real? I said no, everything feels so real, my legs ache from the climb, I can feel the sun and breeze, I can touch the rock and see everything so clearly, plus the conversation was very real. He said yes I know but that is part of everything. He didn't actually say 'relativity' but the word was hanging in the air. I was thinking, but this isn't like my other dreams, it seems to be happening in real time, everything is so clear and sharp, not muddled and jumping from one thing to another. There were no strange close ups of things and weird scenarios (!). Then we came to another descent. There were rocky steps that disappeared to nothing. Einstein trotted down then must have gone down another lot of steps underneath the overhang that we were on. I knew this was the last part of the journey and I didn't want it to end and I was trying not to think about it being a dream. I pulled off to one side and P was there. A few people came up behind us talking and one man turned to speak as he was going down the steps. He put his foot into mid air, then realised and quickly adjusted. The steps were steep and very deep, sort of squarish boulders with huge gaps between seemingly suspended in mid air. If you just kept going you'd walk off into nothing. So I figured you had to spin around at some point and find the other steps underneath where we were standing. This was the last test and it looked like the others might not make it. I was nearly ready to leave when I had a really sharp pain on my right big toe. That was very real too! I yelped and P tried to help. When I looked down my foot was bare and was in a puddle from an indent in the rock. There was a large bug thing on my toe. It was a cross between a crab, a cicada and a huge flying beetle. It was very colourful and spread it's wings to the side. I got a close up of it and thought, here we go back to dreamscape and I felt slightly disappointed to have left the 'reality' of the previous part of the dream. The bug let go and flew off, but there was another one which latched on to my toe, again with the same painful consequence. They seemed to be hatching from the pool.
That's all I can remember from that section. A couple of snippets from later dreams include my bed being in street, parked like a car. Some bloke came up, a cross between a policeman, spy and an IT advisor. He stood at the head of the bed and said I don't expect you have broadband. I awoke very hazily and looked up over my pillow and said in a very slurry, sleepy voice, I do have broadband but I can't speak. Meaning that I was still half asleep.
Another snippet was my brother and I were sitting in a lounge room. We were watching a larger than life couch with three men on it. We were sitting at odd angles to the couch and each other. The people on the couch should have felt very uncomfortable with us so close and under such scrutiny. But they were actually from a sitcom. They were normally on telly, but we'd somehow got them in this room, live, but not so we could interact with them. I exchanged glances with my brother. I think I quite liked the sitcom, although it was silly, but he hadn't seen it on the basis that it was too stupid. One man on the couch had just had a baby with his sitcom partner. The baby was on the couch with them and he had his two best mates there. He said I know guys, (looks all around) we'll share the load! Huge laughter and high jinks as this was a running joke for them although this time he was referring to the baby. I smiled, I didn't think my brother would get it but he seemed to be amused too. We continued watching them as they did more humour seated on the couch.

Dream 43: Transport B2
So now I'm driving a bus! I'm quite new at it and I think I'm on my first solo run at this route. It's going ok, although every now and then the bus feels slightly out of control but I have this blinkered feeling of not wanting to check or look.
I left the depot to go on the route, the next time I pull into the depot there is a sign blocking where I'm supposed to park. I half pull in and a waiting passenger at the stop shouts through the open door that I'm supposed to go around to the other side. She follows me around the depot and points to the place I'm supposed to pull in. She apologises for telling me what to do saying it's a liberty on her part. I say no it's fine, I needed to know where to go. I'm at the door of the bus and an inspector comes up to me. She asks my name, I tell her and say I can get my ID if she wants. She tries to write on her clip board and then asks me if I have a pen. I open up a bumbag and find a pen, my ID is there too but she doesn't ask for it.
There follows a whole ridiculous sequence with change. I don't know the purpose or reason now, but she was trying to take handfuls of change off me and she kept dropping coins. Then she owed me and I owed her, we exchanged coins for ages and in the end we were square except a £2 coin had dropped which was mine. I was trying to help the inspector put her change away so I thought I'd get it in a minute. Just as I was about to pick it up a large women in a blue anorak swooped in and took it. I said excuse me that's mine, I just dropped it. But she said finders keepers and went to get on the bus. I was full of rage and tried to punch her, but when I hit her middle the punch had no strength as it disappeared into the folds of her belly, she didn't even notice. She climbed on the bus and sat near the inspector. I went up and asked the inspector to explain that the coin was mine. The inspector brought out one penny and said it was only one cent. I said no it was two pence realising that this wasn't right either, but I couldn't remember the word for pound. The woman and inspector chuckled at me wondering what all the fuss was. I was annoyed with them both but couldn't do anything about it.
Another driver got on the bus, a black man (the inspector was also black). I was about to protest that this was my bus and I was supposed to drive it, but the inspector said this was a special test. I had to sit with the passengers. The design of the downstairs area was not like a real bus. The seats weren't in the usual place and it was very modern with a large vestibule area with panels where no one was allowed to stand. There was a counter behind the driving capsule and a bench with sandwiches, chocolate bars and crisps, they hadn't been there before. Most of the passengers had helped themselves. The driver set off and announced along the way about the food, it sounded like he was going to sell it. The inspector tutted and said he's not supposed to mention the food, but he has to get the passengers to take it. She marked something off on her clipboard.
We stopped and the driver announced in a light hearted voice that we were part of a test for some f****ing inspector, so that's why we were f****ing stopped. The inspector appreciated this, smiled and nodded. The driver came around the bus saying we have to watch some stupid film, however we should watch it while eating these as a treat. He pulled out a bag which looked like real bananas but were actually some confection which sprouted a chocolaty, crunchy top as he pulled them out. The bottom part was a hard chewy sweet so you ate the banana skin as well. It looked vile. I didn't want to take one, I hadn't taken any of the other food either because it was all stuff I don't eat. The inspector was staring at me with a fierce expression on her face. If this was another test then I was about to fail, but I couldn't take the banana.

Dream 42: Transport B1
I was at the coast in a quiet almost enclosed bay/natural harbour. There were people swimming, diving, boating etc. My family had gone off for the day but I had wanted to stay back on my own. I then decided to borrow my brother-in-law's boat, a small cruiser. I'd seen him drive it loads of times and I was pretty sure I could handle it.
I was out in the bay manoeuvring around all the other recreational activities. The boat was going a bit faster than I wanted, but I wasn't at the controls I was at the side looking over and sort of steering from there, but trusting that people would get out of the way. There were some close calls with a group of divers and some swimmers, but part of me refused to look and I just trusted that the boat's path was clear and safe. I was heading for the open sea, I thought I'd go out and then come back in at the next bay which linked up to the same car parking area.
I came up to a part of the bay and a man in the water shouted up at me that I'd better throttle down. I reluctantly went over to the controls and pulled the two levers back a notch or two. The boat then went through a narrow, shallow channel which I hadn't noticed before. It was quite tricky and doubt came into my mind about going out to sea. I went back to land. There was a concrete channel for boats to travel through to the next bay - no water in the channel. I was taking the boat along there thinking I would go to the other bay this way. I thought I'd have a little trip around there and return the boat and no one would ever know I'd used it. Again the going became awkward. I felt bad about being in the boat so I took it off the concrete channel. I was in the boat but also carrying it up the concrete ramp which ran alongside the boat channel (It's a reasonable sized boat, don't you love it when you can do impossible things in dreams!). I was almost to the top when my brother-in-law S showed up. He pointed to a cleaning bay and said I'll give you a hand V. I was mortified that he'd come back before I'd put the boat away. The rest of his family were there too. He started to hose off the boat and I said 'I'll do that' and took the hose from him. He went around tidying and cleaning the boat. He seemed very good natured about it, but I was sure he must be very angry and I was looking for signs. I said to my sister 'I thought you were gone for the day. You didn't have to come back early.' I think S replied (or someone else) 'Well we heard you had the boat out so we decided to come back.' Again no one seemed to be angry but I thought they must be fuming. I felt awful, I know S trusts me with certain things, but this was taking it too far as I didn't really know much about driving boats at all. With everyone being so nice about it, my feelings of guilt and self torment were worse of course!

Dream 41: Espionage
I haven't had one of these types of dreams for a while and most enjoyable it was. It's like watching and being in a film at the same time, with complicated plots twists and strange scenes. This dream is now a bit hazy but it involved me going to a vaguely middle eastern country to assimilate into the community and find out about 'Iraqi matters'. The country wasn't Iraq, it wasn't a specified place and it ranged from mountainous regions with old temple-like buildings to quite modern Europeanesque towns and cities and back to third world style towns and villages...
There were several scenes of me being with groups of people trying to ask discrete questions, but as a woman it was quite difficult and we were always on the point of being caught/found out. At one point me and a colleague had to report an impending incident (possibly a bomb attack). We went to a modern building which was the reception for a helicopter service. This was a safe building where we could link up with our headquarters. We also needed the helicopter to take us over areas so we could take photos. Our time had run out in this region and people were beginning to suspect. We had to wait for a plane (the helicopter seemed to have disappeared). There was a suspect hanging around us. I think it was a man but this was not certain. We were playing a kind of cat and mouse game. He suspected us of being spies and we were pretty certain he was part of a group of criminals/bombers. It was a question of who would make the first move.
We were ready to leave and suddenly s/he had on these high heel sandals, but they had little wheels in the soles. I knew they were bombs, because of the way s/he was rolling, every once in a while they would sort of skip. It could have been put down to the rough pavement but I knew something was fishy. I had to find a way to alert our people without giving ourselves away and also to be able to catch the bomber without harming anyone else. Not quite sure how but we got the shoes, but we did. When we looked at the bottom, there were these thin pink plastic wheels built in, but there were pieces cut out of them to accommodate the device. It explained why they kept skipping and proved my theory correct. The shoes ended up in a bomb oven, a place where certain explosives could be let off safely. The problem was that it only took a certain force and we couldn't open the shoes to find out how much explosive was in them without getting blown up ourselves. There was lots of discussion about whether to explode the shoes or not. If they were within the limit then the oven would contain them. If not then the oven itself would explode, possibly injure people, but more importantly alert the other side to our presence and our operations. The rest of this is a bit hazy, there was yet another exploding device which had to be dealt with, but we had to get back into the field.
Next we were at an airport. There was lots of waiting around and being shunted from one place to the next. My friend J was there this time, with a small group of friends. Finally we were allowed to board the plane. It was a very modern one with different seating sections. J wanted me to go ahead and get good normal seats, but I spotted a new section which sat sideways along the plane with a table in front. J didn't want a table seat so she went off into the normal sections. I thought it might be nice to have a table and it could even be possible to sleep with your head on it later. I was worried that I had the wrong ticket but no-one challenged me. I ended up talking to an academic bloke about some form of art. Can't remember all the details now but it was quite fascinating. I still had my spy persona but it was as if I was returning home and was now off duty.
Later we were in another airport and I had to get changed. Something to do with my usual clothing versus the local garb. I was trying to put some trousers on and had on normal knickers. A local woman saw me and thought I needed undergarments. She unwrapped a great long piece of cloth from her crotch area and gave it to me. It had some very slight staining, but she wanted me to take it as she thought I had my period and my need was greater than hers. I tried to explain in gestures that it was ok. I was horrified at the thought of putting on someone else's undergarments, but also touched that she would unconditionally try to help another woman whom she felt was in need.
At some point P and I were on a holiday which was also reconnaissance. We took loads of photos. Later in the dream I was playing them back on my camera/phone and instead of just still shots they were little moving vignettes with some family and other people whom we didn't even know had been there. They were very detailed and graphic. Fantastic buildings, gardens and landscapes, the photos seemed almost better than it had being there. There were loads more scenes and snippets but these are all I can remember. When you write them down they seem more logical and clear cut than in the dream, it was far more mixed up than that and also the feelings are hard to capture. The sense of adventure, stress of being caught, the wonder of new places and customs, the strange convoluted conversations, trying to get plane tickets, passports and so much more...

Dream 40: Dancing Man
I was in a musical, a huge West End production, but I was appearing as a man. I was still me, but I was in some sort of disguise which allowed me to be a John Travolta-type all singing all dancing man in this show. There was a real male lead who was doing most of the show and then I was to do the last few big numbers and the finale. But no-one realised there were two of us and that I swapped in towards the end.
I went on and did the finale which went great and felt wonderful, but then the crowd were screaming for an encore and they wanted a particular number from earlier in the show. We were told to do the number again, but it wasn't one of mine and the other performer had already gone. I'd watched the number earlier and thought I could do it. It was a 50's style rock 'n' roll song (Buddy Holly-ish) and the choreography was spectacular and included a huge leap in unison with the female lead, it made a great tableau and was a highlight of the show which is why they wanted it again.
I was confident I could do it as I'd watched the scene pretty carefully and knew how the other actor danced etc. I also had the big leap in my mind and knew just how to do it. The number started off with the male dancers coming through the audience as the song started. I was leading the way, but there were these channels or pathways we had to go down (it was through and around the audience, but not). The ones which were open to us were the ones we had to go down, they were lit in a dim blue light, there were other lanes but these had fluorescent blue springy ropes zig-zagged across them at ankle height. I started off leading them down the lanes ok, then I took a wrong one and had to sort of dance around over and between the ropes which added to the performance but was taking more time and was wrong, the other performers had gone down the correct lines. Then I saw the ramp leading up to the stage and I knew I had to go up there and explode onto the stage as the song really took off. I did it just as I seen the other guy do it and there was a huge cheer, scream and applause from the audience. I danced through the number and it is was fantastic. We got to the leap. We were up on a platform and had to leap off and land on the main stage. It was a leap upwards first so we were high above the stage, then we had to hold our hands high in the air and twist our lower bodies to one side and bend up our knees. It was me and the main female lead and we were frozen in this tableau with just a spot on us for a split second that seemed to last longer as we suspended in the air, then landed together and finished the dance. As we did it, it felt brilliant, we timed it perfectly even though I'd never actually done it before, with me leaping slightly first but holding as she joined me. The crowd went even more crazy.
Afterwards I was chatting up the female lead. I was thoroughly enjoying my role as a bit of a macho male and I grabbed her around the waist and spun her around. I did feel a bit bad that I was fooling her because I was really me and a woman, but I thought that when the other male lead returned he could enjoy the benefits. I seemed to be far more outgoing and forward than the real man and so it was going to be noticed by the other performers perhaps that I seemed to have two personalities...